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Ten Humorous, Motivating Quotations To Brighten Your Day

- by Mike Moore

George Bernard Shaw once said that if you find something funny search it for hidden truth. Here are few pearls of wisdom packaged in humour. Enjoy.

  • You wouldn't worry what people thought about you if you only knew how seldom they did.
  • To expect life to treat you fairly because you're a good person is like expecting a bull not to charge you because you're a vegetarian.
  • Worry is like a rocking chair; it will give you something to do, but won't get you anywhere.
  • Pain and suffering are a lot like gas....they too shall pass.
  • Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect to be paid back.
  • Anyone who says that swimming is good for the figure has never taken a real good look at a whale.
  • A bore is always "ME" deep in conversation.
  • Some people think their lives are full, when really they're just cluttered.
  • If at first you don't succeed, try not to be amazed.
  • A leader without a sense of humour is like a grass cutter at a cemetery. You have a lot of people under you paying absolutely no attention.
Live Better....Laugh More

You Have Got Only 86,400 Seconds To Live!!!

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent? of course!!!!

"Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the tomorrow."

You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today.

  • To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
  • To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
  • To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
  • To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
  • To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
  • To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
  • To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time. And remember that time waits for no one.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!!--Unknown

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